Im really sorry I haven’t been posting at all lately but I haven’t been writing. Things are still weird. It’s been weeks without writing so if you can give me prompts I will try writing. I miss it.
In other news mum tried to speak to me about going back to school and then I started feeling suicidal again but when I discussed it with my therapist today she said ‘It’s either don’t go back to school or end up dead because I think if you go back you’ll end up killing yourself’ which scares the shit out of me because I know she’s right but I still can’t comprehend killing myself?? Even though I tried already?? And like it freaks me out that I could go to school then I forget my homework and get told off or just generally something goes wrong and I could just go into town which is right by my school, buy tablets and kill myself. Like?? I could be feeling fine in the morning but my feelings change so quickly.These things are very confusing if anyone understands life please message me.
I’ve taken up embroidery and the art of saving any photograph I see of a baby goat to my phone and adding it to a special folder
please send me prompts i’d really like to write some things!!
my home treatment crisis therapist is so nice she bought me kerrang magazine and told me part of my therapy is going to gigs bc that’s what i like to do and she got me an appointment with a different psychiatrist bc she disagrees with the bpd diagnosis and thinks i should get another opinion and also she’s getting my keyworker changed because i don’t get on with her and basically she’s just doing so much for me but she’s only managing the risk so once i’m physically safe again she’ll have to start pulling out of my treatment which sucks but still!!
Hey new followers
Ahem I mean
HEEEEEEEEEY YOUNG BLOOD
So yesterday I was kind of diagnosed with emerging borderline personality disorder which I’ve thought I had symptoms of for a while now but I only found out from my home treatment therapist today bc the psychiatrist either didn’t say it to me, just to my parents or I was too zoned out but yeah it’s kind of weird and it sucks bc bpd is harder to treat than depression I think?? Like people tend to be stuck with it for longer from what I’ve read on the internet (that could be wrong, it’s just what I’ve read) but ehh she didn’t say I deffo have BPD she just thinks it might be emerging….